Saturday, April 26, 2008

And It Goes A Little Something Like This

So, here I am with a nosebleed, one of the many I get while I am pregnant, listening to the Spice Girls, and contemplating going to a last minute birthday party invitation. A day in the life of me. Well, since you will be reading my blog, I hope, I guess you will want to know a little more about me. I am 33 years old. It has taken me a long time to be able to tell my age (okay, write it) without sweating bullets or squirm in my chair. I am Hispanic. I am a newlywed of almost one year. I married a man who saw me for all my great qualities and continued to see them even after he learned I had three kids! He has chosen to take us all on and he has amazingly stepped into the role of awesome husband and daddy. I can not say enough about him and I truly believe the world could use more men like him.

My past is in a small town. I grew up in a small black community that allowed some of us Mexicans in it. We lived in the poorest side of town, but still managed to experience some smiles and laughter that followed us around as kids just from being set free to go outside and play. It would not be until I was in middle school and high school that my neighborhood friends and I really saw how different we were. My present lies in the big city of Houston. It amazes me still to be here, even after living here for over seven years. There is so much to do, and as cliche as it sounds, I still have yet to do half of it. In Houston, I have found some really great friends, grown up, made a career, experienced zest, and found my true love and new life. Most days, I still try to reconcile the past with the present as we move on towards the future.

My life as been somewhat checkered mostly due to my own making. I am proud to have picked myself up without making excuses. I am happy to have kept my family together and even prouder that they are growing into such amazing human beings. I will say that it is a combination of admitting to them I am not perfect, some is due to luck, and a lot due to love. We are so lucky to not only have each other, but to now share our lives with my husband and best friend. Life is good.

Leaving the workplace was a very difficult decision to make. It brought out so many insecurities and fears in me. I wish it had been as simple as changing over into June Cleaver, but it was not. It is hard to change to a system where you feel isolated from other women who you used to have a lot in common with, now don't. You feel like they are looking down at you or that no one truly appreciates or understands what you are doing. Where you went from employees reviews and employer's yardstick's of performance measurement, now you are in a world where little of what you do is verbally appreciated and you wonder if you made a mistake. I mean after all, you worked so hard to get through college to provide a different lifestyle, just to change over and not be appreciated. Then, the smiles come. Followed by hugs. Then, by the kids eventually sneaking in little conversations that they do like you being home more and the pride beams through their smiles when they see you at their school functions or karate classes and club meetings. Of course, my hubby has always been supportive, genuinely. We especially love the fact, that when he comes home from being on rotation, we have the days to ourselves. We call this our honeymooning time.
So, there you are pretty much caught up to speed. I look forward to writing and sharing more of my thoughts, opinions, bullshit, and pondering with you. For now, it is time to get the kids out and about. Hopefully, my nose has stopped bleeding for now!

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