Or less. I hope. Pregnancy is not something I find particularly beautiful. I think it is o.k. to feel this way. I have talked to many pregnant women and views differ. I do not hold it against any of them however they think of pregnancy, unless of course they try to say everyone is wrong who thinks it is NOT beautiful. I am ready to meet my little daughter and be able to breathe and feel relatively normal at the same time.
I try to ponder life and people as often as I can. It amazes me this club you find yourself in once you give birth. It becomes "clique"-ier if you are married. Once you have a child, you are thrown almost against your will into the table conversation of "who-earned-the-biggest-badge-of-honor" as an expectant mom or better yet, during labor. Never mind, this badge is always imaginary and never accomplishes what the woman wants which is, OMG, you are the most supreme of all women!, response. I find it ridiculous, on several occasions, sad. I mean, why are women so wrapped up in it? Imagine men. On top of the food chain, discussing their reproductive issues, hailing a Supreme court decision regarding such an issue as their biggest accomplishment in the history of men, and telling "the-who-had-the-biggest-baby?" story, instead of "who-caught-the-biggest-fish?" That imaginary scenario is just as ridiculous as we must sound in reality.
What I have learned from all four pregnancies is I indeed do not enjoy being pregnant, labor sucks, but the baby is awesome! I could care less to have the biggest baby, smallest baby, shortest labor, longest labor, weirdest labor experience, easy-breezy-I- just sneezed- and- the-baby-came-out labor story, or the "I-was-Sheera-Queen-of-the-World" -or "Mrs. Betty Bed rest" expectant mother. I want my story to be like this; I had four babies and we raised them successfully to be responsible, kind, healthy, happy citizens and people, while experiencing the highs and lows of life.
Yesterday, I watched a segment of Tyra where she had women on discussing breastfeeding and homemaking vs. career woman. Of course, there were no winners, although the women who think breastfeeding in a non third world country until four years of age and older is disturbing!. To me, everyone wins if and only if people just let people be. I have been a career woman and now a homemaker. I just try to make the best of my life. To each their own. Just be happy. For me, breastfeeding is economical. If I find it a beautiful experience that makes the world seem to be flowing with milk an honey, then I am sure I will tell it like that, as quickly as I will tell everyone that it saves me so much money a month. If I hate it, then I will just move on and start bottle feeding my baby girl just as I did her siblings, who against all Breast Feeders Unite claims, were and are VERY healthy and happy, rarely ever sick, and bright. If breast fed kids really have super powers than the rest of us bottle fed kids, then I would not know hordes, families, generations of people who are sickly and idiotic. To me, it is all in the gene with some help of the dysfunctional.
Moving on, I am really upset that in this world, people would let a woman die on a hospital floor and keep walking by as if she was just a bug or something. Of course, I am talking of the Jamaican woman who was waiting for over 24 hours in a NY hospital for a bed to open up. She died on a cold floor with several people, including guards, around. This happened in our western civilization. Not one person stopped to try to help her up and place her back in a chair. I will not ask, what has this world come to? People have always been this way. It just amazes me that they still continue on this way. Where is the compassion? I told my hubby, Gabe, if it had been a dog, the dog would still be alive. Really, people need to remember that people come first. That life is a gift. We only walk this world once. And it means nothing if we do not help each other, not causes.
This is me exercising my privilege to write my opinions in this free country. I DO love this country as imperfect as She is. G~d bless our troops and remember our soldiers and ex pats, like my awesome hubby, who can not be home to celebrate our wonderful independence that we take for granted.
Happy Fourth of July!